love is only one word.

i feel as though i am sitting in this man's living room watching the beauty and the things he does. i feel like we have had a love story strange and in sync. one where you know you'll have those moments that every girl has thought of at least once in their lifetime. where you stand on the end of santa monica pier knowing you're the only two people in the world. what an inspiring beautiful handsome man.

i need to hang out with more men. not boys.

dated:
artist
armed forces
silver fox
impeccable dresser

should date:
nice men
men my own age
men like john

want to date:
musicians
soccer players as good looking as the ones on the world cup
rooney
men like alex greenwald
happy men
guys with mustache and cute lookin facial hair
more impeccable dressers so that we may look amazing and perfect together because why should i be the only one dressing up to look cute? he should too.
dancer
my own alex turner

i got a facebook message from this guy i met last summer. he's funny and smart and okay looking but his smile is what really is the best about him. i love it when he smiles. anyway, he messaged me about going to the county fair (which is where i met him last year) and i about melted. i wish i was going to be in town so then we could but alas i wont. it will be so good to be back in california for the next 3 years of my life. 3 years of los angeles. 3 years of another 3 years. i cannot wait for another chapter of my life to begin and to be able to meet more people, hopefully more people with the same aspirations and goals as my own.

when my brother was visiting for the weekend, we drove to the six flags that is near by + he introduced me to this song. i must say i fell in love. my brother is by far one of my favorite people and i love hanging out with him.

i wanna go back to being a well rounded artist. a well rounded artist for a well rounded artist. i fall in love at least 4000 times a day. all i want to do is learn from the people i am around and just generally have a good time. i have found some people like that that i have back home, but have failed to find it here. lesson learned? try harder.

you make your own life. things do not pass you by, you simply overlooked it. things are not handed to you, you must work for it. you are what you make of your life. i have fucked up enough in my life to know how true this all is.

i hope to find you my humphrey bogart. here's to lookin at you kid.

ilsa.